I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
