There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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