I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
