last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
where are my eyebrows?
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