he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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