Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize