Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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