butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
