I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I want to be your penis for a week.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
