the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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