i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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