I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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