Whod you bang
she was so not down for the gang bang
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
