my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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