Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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