You're so nebulous sometimes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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