actually, I'm a sock model
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
