Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
