thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
