We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize