Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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