Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
