i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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