Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
