just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
