he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
