in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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