We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
