my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
