Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
