I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
