U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
