was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
