we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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