I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize