you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
