I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize