You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
