If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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