Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
