Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
two words...techno handjob
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
