What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
