I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
