I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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