Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
