don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
