I didn't shave. On purpose
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
