You're my little dorito
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
