Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
