Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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