I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
