Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
