I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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