Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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