wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
