seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
