so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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