he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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