he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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