After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
