I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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