we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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