Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
